$27,000,000 home in Los Altos

Yesterday I went on the Broker’s tour in Los Altos, California.  It’s a special open house for agents that are active in the Los Altos community.  This week, there was an impressive house priced at $27,000,000.  I especially liked the private movie theater.  Seeing this home reminded me of what it means to be “satisfied yet eager for more.”  I am grateful for our house Los Altos.  It has everything I want for my family and my family loves living there.  The neighbors and schools are wonderful, too!  Seeing this other house in Los Altos reminds me that there is always room for aspiratation.  I’m not sure what how I would use all the rooms in a house like that, but I’m open to it!

Unworthy

[Here's an example of a story I've been playing in my head for as long as I can remember. I am so done with Unworthy!]

I realized that I’ve been tormented by a demon called “Unworthy.”  When I tell people that I am the youngest of eight children (and the only boy), a common reaction is, “You must have been so spoiled!”  in a joking tone.  While they don’t mean any harm by the statement, I didn’t like hearing it.  I resisted the label of “spoiled” because it hurt to hear it.  Maybe it was true and I didn’t want to admit it.  Maybe it’s because I felt guilty about the priveleges I enjoyed because of things beyond my control (e.g. birthorder).  I don’t really know why it grated on me so much, but inside my head, I would say to myself, “No I NOT spoiled!” while smiling and shrugging my shoulders on the outside.

The story I created to protect myself from the feelings of hurt was, “I’ll show them!  I’ll prove that I deserve everything I get by working hard and earning it!  Then they can’t call me ’spoiled’ anymore”  That story seemed to work really well for me until now.  I’ve enjoyed tremendous success in all areas of my life because of my work ethic. 

However, that story puts a limit on my abundance.  Because I was so determined to earn everything, my pride would not allow me to receive gifts or good fortune.  In other words, if I didn’t earn it, I rejected it.  Deep down, I felt like I was unworthy of it.  Ask my wife, Eileen.  She’ll tell you how hard it is for me to receive a gift.  [But I have no problem showering people I love with gifts.]  Check this out…  it would be unacceptable for me to win the lottery because it’s not something I can earn.  It’s crazy… I know!  It’s not rational… I know!  But for someone that believed that he had to earn everything through hard work, I held this as truth.  I allowed this story to guide my outlook on life.  I’ve been working hard to earn everything I have because I was unworthy of good fortune. 

After making such outrageous declarations for my life [see previous postings], I immediately heard a tiny voice in my head that said, “There’s no way you can earn everything – you can’t have it all because you’re not good enough.”  I’ve come to realize that there’s just no way I can possibly earn everything I declared.  That much is true.  But, by confronting this demon called Unworthy, I realized that I don’t have to earn everything to receive it all.  I am worthy of being blessed by all of it.  That’s my new story and I’m sticking to it!

If you are familiar with the Christian faith, you may have heard that the devil is particularly adept at telling us lies to distract us from the love that God intends us to experience.  He is particularly good at twisting the truth against us.  Yet, when a lie is exposed for what it is, it has no power anymore.  When light shines into the darkness, the darkness no longer exists.  Sometimes, demons have names that are associated with their “specialty”.  Confronting the demon called Unworthy renders it harmless because I reject its lies about me being unworthy.  For the rest of my life, I am free of this demon that has been tormenting me since childhood.  That’s freedom!

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” John 8:32

Who have I been?

My friend Thach told me that I need to get present to the person I’ve been so that I can become the person I want to be.  [Feel free to stop and re-read that line again.]  In other words, I need to understand who I’ve been in the past so that I can know why I am the person I am today.  I can’t become the person I want to be until I face certain demons from my past. 

Since we were infants, we have relied on survival instincts.  Even as an new born baby, we reacted to pain stimuli without understanding the cause of the pain.  In our childhood, we learned some lessons the hard way.  For example, after burning your hand, you learned to be more careful before you touch something that might be hot.  Subconsciously, you created a story that went something like, “Don’t touch hot things because it will cause pain.” 

Stories like the one above can be very useful in life if you don’t want a 3rd degree burn on your hand.  However, our reaction to emotional pain can also hold us back and cause us to resist the very things that we want or need.  Painful experiences from our youth can create stories in our mind that prevent us from getting hurt again.  But they can also hold us back as adults.  We may not even know that these stories exist in our head.  These stories are usually not even true – yet they feel very real to us.

For example, I recently realized that I had been carrying around several stories that are like CD’s that’s constantly playing in my head.  As I pursue “full self-expression,” I’ll share them in the next few postings of this blog.

Declarations 3,4,5 of 5

Letter Post-Dated April 17, 2006 (continued)  

I decided that I should just post the rest of my Declarations letter.  I’m moving towards a state of “full self-expression” [thanks Mikkel]

Declarations for Our Personal Lives

Andy feels more alive today than ever before.  Pro-growth people flock to him. He gives of himself freely.  And they contribute to his abundance.  Andy inspires others to be extraordinary.  Andy has a core group of 10 like-minded pro-growth friends that spur him on to greatness!

Eileen enjoys mentoring 3 women (1:1).  She participates in a mother’s group at Peninsula Bible Church and the others enjoy her encouragement.  Eileen loves cooking great meals for our family and it’s effortless for her.

Andy learned to like ballroom dancing as much as Eileen and now it’s part of our repertoire of social skills.  Andy became a -10 handicap golfer and spends quality time with friends at the country club.  The other Sea Pearl Dads appreciate Andy’s contribution and leadership to the YMCA Adventure Guides

Declarations for our Spiritual Lives

1 Peter 2:9  But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

I got “present” to who I’ve “been” in order to become who I’m meant to “be”.  I had to confront the demons that have been tormenting my mind for so many years.  It didn’t feel good to dig up all the negative experiences that caused me to create defense mechanisms as a little boy.   I finally experienced the freedom from others people’s approval!  In fact, I shared the yucky emontional junk with others so that they could support me.  I felt so relieved to know that people would still like me afterwards!

We deepened our relationship with God at a new local church that has great worship services, teaching, children’s programs, a community that encourages us to be real, and opportunities to exercise our gifts in serving others.  Eileen was welcomed into a women’s discipleship group.  Andy found his place among other men who accepted him and encouraged him.  Our kids love being there, too!

We funded a missionary project in China and planned a trip to visit it in the Summer of 2007.  Andy went through EQUIP training to repurpose his business as a ministry to others.

Declarations for our Physical Lives
 

Eileen weighs 110lbs, has a fit body with tight abs, arms, and thighs.

Andy works out daily to maintain his good health and wakes up every morning full of energy.  Andy’s good posture makes him 2 inches taller and gives him a more handsome physical presence.  Andy plays basketball twice a week, including drills on our new basketball court at the house.  He regained his jumpshot from college and improved his quickness and footspeed.  He fell in love with the sport all over again!

Declarations – 2 of 5

Letter Post-Dated April 17, 2006 (continued) 

Declarations for Andy’s Business

We had to redesign Andy’s real estate business in Los Altos from the ground up.  In the past I relied on referrals exclusively.  I took on the challenge of reaching beyond my comfort zone to help people that didn’t know me.  I sought out home sellers who were unsuccessful in selling their homes with their previous Realtors.  I used the Internet to allow people to find me and get to know me on my blog.  I served 60 families and the average price of the homes I sold was $750,000.  Some were lower priced.  Some were higher priced.  They all received outstanding service.  Eileen attracted 5 people per month for Andy to serve.

The business team gelled and we have highly skilled player in every position.  It’s fun to see the machine run and everyone made a lot of money along the way!  Andy became a “Jedi Master” of Real Estate.  He’s training and coaching other agents around the country to become “Jedi Realtors,” too.  We also launched a new business.  It is the foundation of a self-sustaining source of income that generates large amounts of free cash.

Declarations for Finances and Investing

We embraced the concept of 100% tithe.  In other words, our money is not really ours.  It belongs to God and we are just managing it for him as stewards.  We contributed 10% of our manifested earnings to missionary and non-profit causes (e.g. International Justice Mission [Fighting Human Trafficking and Child Prostitution], World Vision [Fighting AIDS in Africa], etc.) We were the answer to someone’s prayer once per month by making a spontaneous donation.

Immediately after our declaration, developers and deal makers contacted Andy about investing in real estate.  Wow!  Andy found a prospective flipper opportunity, too.  In total, we acquired 6 investment properties – including a vacation home to share with friends.  All of our investments returned 20% or more on an annual basis.  We put $300,000 in the bank.  And, we funded all of our retirement, insurance funds, and college savings plans for 2007.

Declarations – 1 of 5

On October 17, 2006, Eileen and I embarked on a six month coaching program.  Our first assignment was to write a letter and post-date it April 17, 2007.  In this letter, we were to assume that we had just finished the six month program and summarize all the blessings we participated in.  I’ll post the letter in five segments starting here.

April 17, 2007

Dear Matt, Thach and Jonathan-

What an incredibly amazing 6 months it’s been!   Looking back at the beginning of our journey, we had no idea how this was going to happen.  We just decided to take a leap of faith!  We suspended our rational limitations and didn’t care “How” any of it was going to happen.  If we had allowed ourselves to dwell in the “How” we would never have experienced the “What”.  What seemed outrageous six months ago is now simply ordinary – or should I say ExtraOrdinary.

Declarations for our Family Life

We went on 5 vacations: Lake Tahoe, Reno, Disneyland, Sedona, and New York.  Andy took the last two weeks of the year in 2006 off.  We felt carefree as we traveled – it was no hassle, not even airport security!  Everyday was a discovery opportunity. The kids were a delight to be around because they had such a great attitude about everything.

We embraced our girls’ transition from babyhood to childhood.  It’s a little sad to realize that our girls are no longer babies.  They are little people that becoming more and more capable and cognitive everyday.  We’re finally at the point where we can go out and do really fun stuff with them – and they’re old enough to enjoy the activities as much as much as we do!  We don’t have to worry about naps and diapers anymore.  We were delighted to throw away the last pull-up diaper.  After six years of diapers between 2 kids, we are finally done with them forever!  That feels really good!

We’re still celebrating firsts with the kids.  Kendra performed her first piano recital.  Becca and Andy created lifelong memories at their first Father-Daughter Dance.  The girls became water safe.  This was significant to us because both Andy and Eileen were afraid of drowning until were were 35 years old!  Andy taught the girls how to ride their bikes without training wheels.  They learned to play basketball with their Dad. We exercised together as a family (e.g. hikes, bike riding, sports, etc).  Emotionally, our kids are confident and resilient.  They learned embrace abundance at an early age, too.

During the holiday season, we slowed down and surrounded ourselves with people who love us.  We excused ourselves of the holiday frenzy.  It warmed our hearts to see Becca and Kendra celebrate the true meaning of Christmas.

We celebrated Becca’s 7th birthday at Build-A-Bear with 7 of her friends and she got the Shamrock Bear that she waited a year for.  We celebrated Kendra’s 5th birthday at the Hobby Shop racing slot cars and 5 of her friends.

Eileen and Andy celebrated Valentines Day in San Francisco at Michael Mena’s restaurant.  And we reminded each other of all the things we appreciate about each other.  We had date night every week – filled with meaningful conversation, supportive encouragement, and fun banter.  Andy and Eileen communicate really well every day.

We live in a clean and organized home in Los Altos. Our home is like Zen retreat (inside and outside) for us and our guests.  It’s a sanctuary from the stress of Silicon Valley.  We finished our landscaping projects to include an abundance fountain, meandering dry river bed, outdoor kitchen, outdoor living room, outdoor dining room, outdoor theater, and a basketball court.  Our interior design projects are complete, too.

Eileen and her mother get along really well.  Eileen established healthy boundaries and her mother learned to respect them.  Eileen and the girls get along really well. They are laying the foundation for a lifetime of friendship – the kind that only sisters and mothers can appreciate.

We spent 12 weekends with Andy’s parents.  We live our lives as though they’re alive!  [Thanks for that Thach] Every day we have with Dad is precious because he is on borrowed time.

A journey of a thousand miles…

A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step…  so this is my first step towards Abundance.  I don’t know how I’ll get there, but you’re invited to come along for the ride.  Won’t you join me?

The process started with the declaration of what my life would look like after a six month transformation.  I dated it April 17, 2007 and wrote it in the present tense.  The intent was to write it as if it had already happened.  I’m a little scared to post it here because some of the goals are pretty outrageous!  I’m afraid people won’t like me if they knew what I really dreamed about…

I’ll sleep on it tonight and then decide whether or not to post it on this blog for the world to see.